Team Sandinista Looks Forward to First Win

CHICAGO (October 19, 2004) -- Team Sandinista is looking forward to its first victory in tonight's match-up against Bump, Set, Shock at the Windy City Field House. The three-game series airs live at 7 p.m. on "Tuesday Night V-Ball" on SMN, the Sports Monster Network.

"We've done better in each match so far," said Maggie Clancy, Sandinista team captain. "I think we're poised for an upset tonight."

Sandinista started off the season with a 0-9 record, racking up just 65 points in answer to 135 points scored against. The dismal statistics haven't affected the team's ability to have fun and enjoy themselves. The acquisition of new jerseys -- black with the trademark pale green skull-and-crossbones Sandinista logo -- also helped raise morale during the team's most recent defeat, Clancy noted.

"We're not nearly as serious about this as some of the other guys," said Andrew Huff, starting rear cornerman for Sandinista. "The first place team has been playing together for eight years, and actually spiked a ball at one of our players during pre-game practice, trying to intimidate us. They need to take those antics to the next level up and see what it's like picking on someone their own size-- er, skill level."

In tonight's game, Sandinista take on Bump, Set, Shock, who are just a hair over .500 on points so far this season. The more equal match-up may be all Sandinista needs to crack the goose-egg in the win column, even with stalwart lineman Andy Slater out of the line-up due to flagrant referee-baiting in last week's game.

"Once we have Slater back next week, we'll be tough to beat," Huff said. "Watch out, Six Pack! Here we come!"

Dead Horse Communications Announces Creation of the Deadhorsia Nation-State

HUFFTON, Deadhorsia (October 15, 2004) -- Dead Horse Communications announced today the formation of the Most Serene Republic of Deadhorsia, an Inoffensive Centrist Democracy in the West Pacific. The new country exists primarily online at NationStates.net but is nominally located on a small island near Madagascar and the Seychelles.

"Deadhorsia is a fine land, full of opportunity and hope," said Andrew Huff, head of the nation's absentee government. "We expect visitors of our country will enjoy the food, the people and especially our ubiquitous, free wireless connectivity."

The Most Serene Republic of Deadhorsia is a young, socially progressive nation. Its compassionate, hard-working, intelligent population of 5.2 million enjoy a high quality of life despite the stark landscape and absentee government. A substantial private sector is led by the gambling industry, followed by automobile manufacturing and basket weaving. The island also supports a thriving black market in single malt scotch, Cuban cigars and fine arts.

"Although the idea of having my own country is initially exciting, I suspect this, like so many other spur-of-the-moment creations, will be casually tossed aside and forgotten within a few weeks," Huff said. "The people of Deadhorsia are quite capable of governing themselves through ad hoc committees -- they won't miss their benevolent leader much."

Deadhorsia's national animal is the horse, of course, and its currency is the deadhorsian franc.

NationStates is a nation simulation game created by Max Barry and based loosely on his novel Jennifer Government. Any similarity to an actual nation-state is purely coincidental.

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Huffencooper Partners, Ltd. Forecasts Rise in Coffee Futures

CHICAGO (October 6, 2004) -- Huffencooper Partners, Ltd. announced its fall commodities forecast, predicting a rise in coffee futures.

"We've noticed that Andrew is drinking a lot more coffee than in the past five quarters," said Tiberius Huffencooper, futures analyst with Huffencooper Partners. "Then again, he's been drinking more caffeinated beverages in general, so we're recommending Coca-Cola stock in the short term as well."

Factors leading to this forecast include Andrew's difficulty waking up, longer evening hours and the stress of the move. Huffencooper noted that this condition would likely last until after the holiday season, if not later into the new year.

"Andrew has said he plans to reduce caffeine consumption, as he did in 2002, once the holidays are over," Huffencooper said. "We'll see if that holds up."

About Huffencooper Partners, Ltd.
Huffencooper Partners is an investment firm specializing in domestic properties. The company's primary holding is Bell Tower, worldwide headquarters of Dead Horse Communications and Poise.cc.