KDHC-FM Switches to All-Advertising Format

CHANDLER, Arizona (July 29, 2004) -- KDHC-FM, "Hitz Radio 103.3," announces a format change effective midnight Monday, August 2. The station will be switching from its current Top 40 to all advertising, all the time. The station will now be known as "103.3 The Message."

"Starting Monday, we will be broadcasting only commercials that are backed by music," said Kevin "Amazing" Gracie, general manager and drive-time disc jockey for KHDC. "This new format will allow us to maximize our advertising revenue while still delivering what our listeners crave -- today's hit music, now."

The format change is an experiment based on trends the station has noted in both music and advertising. Recent years have seen an increase in product placements within popular music, such as Busta Rhymes's "Pass the Courvoisier," while the advertising industry has used popular contemporary songs in commercials.

"It's becoming common for songs to become popular because of their being used in commercials," Gracie added. "For instance, 'Days Go By' by Dirty Vegas was virtually unknown outside the electronic dance scene until Mitsubishi used it in a car ad."

The station has reached agreements with local and national advertisers to air extended versions of commercials, so that listeners will hear the entire song rather than a 15- to 30-second samples. The advertising message will be adapted to the format as well. In some cases the ad copy will only appear at the beginnings and ends of songs, in others the message will extend over the length of the song.

KDHC will follow all Federal Communications Commission, Federal Trade Commission and industry guidelines regarding advertising standards. No cigarette or hard liquor ads will be run, and adult-oriented advertising will air no earlier than 8 p.m.

This is not the first time an all commercial format has been tried. In 1966, Gordon McLendon bought a Los Angeles station and created KADS-FM, hoping to take business away from newspapers. The station ran everything from local want ads to national spots, but closed in 1967 and switched to the beautiful music format under the call letters KOST-FM.

"The difference between the KADS experiment and what we're doing here at KDHC is the music," Gracie said. "We'll be playing all your favorite hits, coupled with a marketing message."

KDHC-FM is owned by EnCommunicado Broadcasting Inc., based in Chandler. The station broadcasts at 2,000 Watts, serving Phoenix and the Valley of the Sun.

First National Bank of Mogutu
Announces $20 Million Benefactor

MOGUTU, Nigeria (July 20, 2004) -- The First National Bank of Mogutu (FNBM) announced today that it has ended its worldwide search for a benefactor has been found for the US$20 million in unclaimed funds. Theresa R. McGibbons of Bentonville, NJ, will maintain the small fortune following a transfer ceremony to be held at the bank's provisional offices here on Thursday.

"We are very pleased to make this announcement, and look forward to working with Mrs. McGibbons," said Dr. Joseph Mbese, president of FNBM. "This is a banner day for our bank, after months of searching."

McGibbons, a retired schoolteacher, was contacted by bank officials as part of FNBM's worldwide search, via email, for a benefactor for the unclaimed funds. The money was found in anonymous accounts uncovered after the recent civil unrest in the area.

"My 32 years experience working with second and third graders has taught me that trust is of utmost importance in any interpersonal relationship, whether in a classroom or in business," said McGibbons. "I feel deeply honored that the First National Bank of Mogutu has recognized my trustworthiness by selecting me for this important duty."

Under the terms of the agreement, the funds will be transfered to McGibbon's bank account in one lump sum. McGibbons agreed to assume responsibility for transaction fees totalling $16,000, and has opened up a bond account with FNBM, the balance of which was not released.

Dr. Mbese noted that, as McGibbons has already opened the account, the transaction may be completed immediately. Although she will not be attending the transfer ceremony due to prior engagements, McGibbons has authorized Dr. Mbese to complete the transaction on her behalf.

"We thank Mrs. McGibbons for agreeing to work with us in our time of need," Dr. Mbese said. "We anticipate this to be the beginning of an unprecidented time of prosperity for our organization, and plan to continue the search for a benefactor for the $14,500,000 in Nigerian Federal Bonds recently discovered in an unmarked deposit box."

The First National Bank of Mogutu was founded in 1996 as the premiere Internet-based financial institution in Nigeria. Its board of directors includes Dr. Mbese, Prince Franklin Atu and Mrs. Lauretia Johston, wife of the former president of the Federal Bank of Nigeria, Ahmed Johston. Its provisional offices are located at 419 W. Mogabe St., Unit 4-J, in Mogutu.

Open House This Sunday at Dead Horse HQ

WHAT: Open House

WHERE: 1515 W. Arthur Ave., Apt. 3 [map]

WHEN: Sunday, July 18, 1-3 p.m.

Dead Horse Communications is moving offices and our current headquarters are up for sale, so this weekend we're welcoming prospective new tenants an opportunity to assess this remarkable property. From 1 p.m. until 3 p.m., sales representatives from Keller Williams Fox & Associates will be conducting an open house.

Please see our previous news release for further details about and photos of this deluxe one-bedroom condo in hot Rogers Park.

Contact David Berganski of Keller Williams at 773/564-4270 for an appointment, or just stop by this Sunday!

Dead Horse Communications Headquarters Up for Sale

CHICAGO (July 9, 2003) -- Dead Horse Communications announced today that its headquarters, 1515 W. Arthur Ave. #3, is up for sale. The one-bedroom unit in the Arthur Bosworth Condominums has been listed with star realtor David Berganski of Keller Williams Fox in Lincoln Square.

"We're thrilled to be working with Dave again," said Andrew Huff, principal of Dead Horse. "We found this apartment through him, and it only felt natural to list it with him now."

Huff moved into the condo three years ago with Dead Horse vice president Cinnamon Cooper. The unit is on the top floor of a gut-rehabbed 1916 building in Rogers Park, and features a huge kitchen with 42-inch maple cabinets and stainless steel appliances. A breakfast nook, currently being used as an office, brings natural ambient light into the kitchen.

Original hardwood floors are throughout. The bedroom is bathed in light from a bank of south-facing windows, and features roomy twin closets. The bathroom boasts a whirlpool tub and fashionable tiles. Amenities include central air, ceiling fans in the living room and bedroom, and in-unit laundry (stackable washer and dryer). The walls are painted in designer colors, from a soothing pale blue in the bedroom to appetizing "Italiano Rose" in the kitchen.

"The stand-out, though, is the deck," Huff said. "It's shared with a neighbor, but there's more than enough room for both. We love entertaining back there. And it has an electrical outlet, which is rare on city decks -- we asked for it specifically."

Huff noted that the new owners would find their neighbors very friendly, and that the condo association is unusually free of acrimony.

The move was instigated by a need for additional space for Dead Horse and its shared officemate, poise.cc. The new headquarters is a larger facility in a two-flat near Granville and Bell.

"We love our current apartment, but it's become a bit too small for our various projects," said Cooper. "Plus, our pack-rat tendencies are getting the best of us. But 1515 #3 would be perfect for a single person or a couple with more minimalist tastes."

Huff and Cooper hope to complete the sale soon, so that they can begin packing for the move. Interested parties should contact David Berganski at 773/564-4270, or call Dead Horse Communications at 773/368-6137 or (this domain)@gmail.com.

Dead Horse Communications offers media, public relations and copywriting services for a wide range of industries. The company is headquartered in Chicago, with satellite offices on Ursa Minor Beta. Its better-known projects include Gapers Block, a Chicago-centric news and events webzine.

NOTE: Photos attached. Please click the (more) link to view.

Plassion Enterprises Introduces M3Pleasure™

MT. PLEASANT, Virginia (July 6, 2004) -- Plassion Enterprises, Inc. announced today the release of its latest product for self-stimulation, the M3Pleasure™. This unique attachment is designed to be compatible with the Gillette M3Power™ micro-powered shaving system.

"Gillette's new M3Power razor contains a tiny motor that delivers a vibration similar to the output of our Passion.45 bullet style vibrator," said Dr. James F. Plantagenet, president and chief executive officer of Plassion Enterprises. "The M3Pleasure attachment harnesses those 'micro-pulses' for a pleasurable erotic experience."

The M3Pleasure consists of a 1/2-inch chrome-plated alloy bullet head mounted in a molded plastic connector designed to snap into the M3Power system easily and firmly. There are no moving parts in the M3Pleasure attachment -- the vibrating action is provided solely by the motorized handle.

The M3Pleasure's small size and lightweight but sturdy construction make it ideal for travel, office or home use. It comes in Plassion's trademark royal blue velvet carrying bag and carries a manufacturer's suggested retail price of $4.99.

Plassion Enterprises is a leading marketer of adult toys and therapeutic devices. The company was founded by former adult film star Ophelia Upt in 1996. It is headquartered in Mount Pleasant, Virginia.

[Disclaimer: This is a parody news release for a nonexistant company... although I don't doubt that the product will exist soon. Gillette, Mach 3 and M3Power are registered trademarks of the Gillette Company. Thanks to Anil for the inspiration.]